The Return of Qetesh
by PhoebeADA
Summary: Did you ever wonder what would happen if Qetesh would visit the SGC? What Vala's life was like as a slave to Qetesh? What it means to be trained as a host? How daniel would cope being confronted with Vala's past? Well, this is your story then.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Return of Qetesh

Author: PhoebeADA

Spoilers: Everything up to "Continuum"

Rating: **M**, I think… see summary

Genre: Romance, hurt, drama, humor,…

Pairing: Daniel and Vala

Category: Future story, romance, AU

Summary: What would happen if Qetesh came to the SGC? Could SG-1 deal with Vala's past? Can Vala overcome the horror that is her past? What does it mean to be trained as a host? Will Daniel be able to cope with Vala's past?

**This one is going to be much darker than the other ones. There will be abuse, rape and violence. **

Disclaimer: If I would own this I wouldn`t have to write Fan fictions. You could see it on the screen.

Archive: anywhere just ask please.

Author's notes: Okay, this is my first series of one-shots. Every story will take place in the original Stargate Universe after "Continuum;" TT will mean that there is time travel going on and AU means alternate universe. I hope you have fun; I haven't done this for years…

Special thanks to Aly, my new beta reader.

AU

SG-8 brought home something very unlikely from their last mission; something extraordinary and almost unbelievable. Currently, Sg-1 was sitting in the briefing room; they had just come back from a mission of their own so the SGC gossip mill didn't have a time to catch up with them. Landry hadn't even allowed them to visit the infirmary yet. Needless to say that they were more than anxious to find out what had happened during their absence.

"As you are aware, this is against protocol. You need to check in with Dr. Lam as soon as we are done here," Landry waited for a nod of approval from everyone before he continued.

"This is a very delicate matter and I didn't want you to hear the rumors before I had the chance to talk to you myself," He took a deep breath and his gaze rested on Vala before he turned around and pointed the remote control to the waiting TV.

"SG-8 brought someone very unlikely through the gate." He switched the TV on and the screen flickered before it presented SG-1 with a live video stream to one of the SG containment cells. In it was a very regal looking dark haired female, dressed in an almost sheer gold dress. A collective gasp could be heard when the woman turned around. It was Vala.  
"That's Vala," Mitchell exclaimed, immediately feeling stupid for his burst out.

Vala shook her head slightly not quite believing her own eyes. "No, this is Qetesh."  
All heads turned to her and General Landry nodded.

"That's what she told us. SG-8 found her, unconscious I might add, in one of PX3-561's cave systems. They were surprised to say the least. She has been with us for three days now and let me tell you that she is not my favorite Goa'uld. In fact she is a downright rude, demanding, snotty little diva."

"You won't hear me say otherwise," Vala said.

"Unfortunately she has not been very forthcoming as to where she came from. That is why I want SG-1 to take a look at this. Colonel Carter, I want you to leave for PX3-561 with SG-8, take Teal'c with you. I want to know if there I any kind of device that might suggest an alternate universe, or a cloning device, or a wishing well. Anything."

Carter nodded, "Yes, Sir."

"Good, you will leave tomorrow after a good night's sleep and a stop at the infirmary. Mitchell, I want you and the rest of SG-1 to talk to her. I want to know where she came from and what she wants," Landry's gaze lingered on Vala for a moment.

"Vala, if you do not want to deal with this you just have to say the word. I can only imagine what you must be going through right now. If you want out of this assignment at any point, please do not hesitate to let me know."

"I appreciate your concern, General, but I would like to try and help Sg-1." Although she wore a calm expression and her voice didn't betray any emotions, Daniel could see that her glorious eyes had glassed over. They were definitely in for a few very emotional days.

Landry nodded. He hadn't expected anything else. "Very well. Dismissed."

Sg-1 left the room heading for the infirmary. Vala dallied a little, she wasn't ready for questions and pitying glances yet.  
She couldn't believe it. Quetesh was here; in her body. She felt as if the nightmare was happening all over again.

Daniel looked behind him and realized that Vala was not with them. He used the opportunity and stopped the others for a second.  
"I don't think that we should question Vala right now. She will tell us what we need to know once she has gotten over the shock." The others agreed.

"Indeed, this must be a very trying time for Vala Mal Doran. Seeing oneself suffer from the Goa'uld must be extremely confusing."

"I cannot imagine what it must be like for her," Sam added.

Daniel's eyes became unfocused as he imagined what it must be like for her and what kind of horrors she was reliving right now.

2 hours later

SG-1 had successfully been cleared for duty by Dr. Lam. She had advised them to get a short nap as well as a meal before they started talking to Qetesh. Vala, however, was unable to close her eyes. After 10 minutes she gave up and left her quarters. She wanted to see Qetesh again. Slowly Vala made her way over to the holding cell. Being aware that they would need her presence as a surprise for later she kept out of sight and just watched Qetesh. The Goa'uld was sitting on a chair stoically looking ahead.  
"Stubborn to the core, aren't we?" Vala mumbled to herself. She knew that posture from experience. Qetesh as well as herself used it frequently when they were unwilling to cooperate.

For the next two hours Vala just watched. She memorized every nuance of Qetesh's facial expressions, every sign of weakness, every wrinkled nose. Thousands of memories rushed back at her causing a massive headache.

"Here you are," Daniel's voice pulled Vala out of her trip down memory lane. She turned and saw that Daniel was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, head slightly bent. He must have been there for a while.

"Couldn't sleep," Turning back she refocused on Qetesh.

"You should eat something. They have blue Jell-O."

"Not hungry," Daniel furrowed his brow. Vala was always hungry. Always. There wasn't a time this woman couldn't eat. If he hadn't known that she was in a bad shape before, now he would.

"It doesn't matter you know."

"What?" Irritation was creeping into Vala's voice. She had no idea what Daniel was talking about and right now, she didn't care.

"Whatever she tells us, whatever she does, it will not change what we think of you," His voice had taken a calming tone. He wanted her to belief him. He needed her to know that she could count on all of them. _Liar. _He chastised himself; he needed her to know that she could depend on him. That nothing the Goa'uld would say or do could change his affections. Affections, what a tame word for his feelings. He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to tell her that for months he had been fighting against himself; trying to will his love for her away. Finally losing the battle he opened his mouth to tell her what he felt.

"Vala, I…"

"Ahh, we are all here. Great. I have a plan!" Mitchell smiled rocking back on his heels, hands in his pockets; creating a perfect imitation of Jack O'Neill.

Closing his eyes for a second Daniel took a deep breath. Saved by Mitchell. He wasn't sure if he was glad or devastated by it.

"We need to get the Tok'ra memory device on her," Sam beat him to the punch.

"We will connect it to the screen. So when we ask her the right questions she shouldn't be able to avoid answering, or at least pointing us in the right direction."

"She is a Goa'uld, Samantha. Usually they are very much in control of their thoughts," Vala interjected. She was freaking out more and more as the seconds ticked away as she realized the dangerous potential of this idea. SG-1 could witness parts of Vala's life that she had never wanted them to know.

"It is worth a try," Daniel agreed with Sam, not grasping the consequences this idea might have. Vala shoot him an irritated look. Of course it would be fine with all of them. Their whole life would not be up for inspection by everyone.

"Fine," She wouldn't argue this. If this is what they wanted they would all have to live with the consequences, "Let's go."

Teal'c remained in the observation room to keep an eye on the situation from a safe viewpoint while the others went into Qetesh's cell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the great reviews. I hope you continue to like the story…. Be WARNED there will be violence and abuse in this chapter.**

To say that Qetesh was surprised to see Vala would have been the understatement of the year. The Goa'uld stood up so fast that her chair toppled over.

"What trickery is this?" Vala stood right in front of Qetesh and the two women looked at each other.

"No trickery. I am Vala Mal Doran, and at one point I was host to Qetesh. That is until the Tok'ra extracted her."

Qetesh blanched slightly at this information.

"So, I am in an alternate universe?" Somehow she didn't sound very surprised by this piece of information. Qetesh looked oddly pleased.

"Interesting," Qetesh picked her chair up, sat down and crossed her legs, revealing too much silky skin. Noticing how Mitchell's gaze had drifted to the exposed thighs she winked at him causing the Colonel's face to heat up and to clear his throat.

"We are going to get some answers, Missy. We are going to put this device on you," Mitchell told her, and without giving her a chance to fight back, Sam attached the small silver plate on Qetesh's temple.

"A Tok'ra memory device," She sounded almost bored, "How very amusing that you think this will work to your advantage."

Qetesh, however refocused on Vala.

"You should let me go… you wouldn't want these …" her disgusted gaze glanced over Sg-1,"… these humans to see where you came from. Isn't that right slave?" Vala's unsure gaze quickly followed Qetesh's path. Biting her lower lip she turned back to the Goa'uld.  
"There is hardly anything you could tell them that they wouldn't have expected of me anyway," The tone of her voice was a mixture of regret, hopelessness and a false show of bravery.

"Really? Is that so? Either you and this body had very different lives or you have forgotten about your past, my dear slave. Why don't we find out? This is how this body lived before I claimed it," Her gaze focused on Sg-1 before she closed her eyes.

The device that Daniel had carried into the room and which he had situated at the far corner started glowing before it projected idyllic scenery on the opposite wall. Nice farmhouses, a thick and lush green forest, a stream and something that appeared to be a church. Soon they saw a young woman leaving the house. It was a very young looking Vala. Her hair was even longer and she kept it in a braid that hung down her back. The woman was wearing a light blue summer dress and she was smiling.

"Miss Vala? Miss Vala?" A young boy came up running to her and Vala stopped to greet him.

"Greetings young Master Berlock. What can I do for you on this fine day?" The teasing tone in her voice was not lost on the kid and he smiled back at her.

"Is it true that you won't be teaching us any longer once you are married?" Vala bend down slightly to look into Justin's eyes.

"Whoever told you that Justin?"

"Sharon. She said that you will have children of your own and that you won't have time for us anymore," The boy was obviously crestfallen with this idea.

Vala smiled down on him.

"Of course I will still teach you, Silly. It will be a while before I will have children of my own and even then I would never stop having time for you," She raised Justin's head up and brushed his bangs out of his eyes.

The boy visible relaxed. "You promise? Not even if Master Dorian wants you too?"  
"Master Dorian would never ask me to do something like that. I promise," She smiled encouragingly at the boy, "You can go and tell Sharon that I am not going anywhere. Now, I want you to run along and play with your friends; is that understood, young man?"

Justin's smile lit up his whole face. He nodded and started to run away, but after a few meters he turned around and came rushing back. Before Vala could react he quickly embraced her and ran away again. With a smile Vala watched him leave before she shook her head slightly and went into a bright white two story house.

The inside looked like a library. The walls where lined with shelves that overflowed with books. The room was empty except for a young man with black hair who sat at one of the table, obviously engrossed with the books that were in front of him. He was busy writing notes and mumbling softly to himself.

Vala stood at the entrance for a few seconds; her gaze never left the young man. There was a very font expression on her face and she looked almost serene.

"I honestly think that you would never leave this room if it weren't for me."

Dorian looked up as he heard his fiancé's voice. He smirked at her.  
"Why would I leave? Everything I want is right here, that is once you are here," He stood up and went over to her. Strong arms encircled Vala, followed by a slight bend and a more than passionate kiss.

The couple kissed for a few minutes both obviously lost in each other.  
"Whose idea was it again to wait until our wedding night?" Vala asked a little breathless and Dorian chuckled.  
"Yours."

"Right. When do we get married again?"

Another small kiss accompanied Dorian's answer.

"Tomorrow at this time you will already be my wife."

"About time."

"Indeed."

The kissing resumed for a couple more minutes before the couple reluctantly let go of each other. They went to the table and sat down still holding hands.

"Young Justin Berlock wanted to know if you would forbid me to teach," Dorian snorted.

"As if I could even if I wanted. You, my dear, are a marvelous teacher."

"Of course I am," She smiled at him and he raised her hand to press a kiss on the inside of her palm.

His expression softened as he observed his slightly blushing bride.

"You amaze me every day. You know that men like me do not get women like you, right?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Us intellectual bookish types do not get the gorgeous village darlings."

Now it was Vala's turn to snort. "Sure they do. Besides, I happen to like the intellectual bookish type."

* * *

Suddenly the scene switched and the screen showed Vala on her wedding day. The wedding party was already seated in the church which was decorated with blue and white flowers. Vala was standing next to Dorian who was wearing a dark suit while Vala herself wore a flowing white dress.

The preacher's final sentence "You may kiss the bride" announced the ending of the ceremony and Vala and Dorian kissed as man and wife for the first time.

They turned around to greet their guests, but instead of the happy smile that people expected to see on their faces they saw horror. The church's door had opened during their kiss and the entrance was now overflowing with Jaffas. Chaos ensued; people started screaming and running away, the Jaffa fired random shoots and all hell broke loose.

"Okay, that's enough!" Mitchell's voice interrupted Qetesh's concentration and the image on the screen faded.

The Goa'uld's smile was cruel, she obviously enjoyed the pain she had inflicted on the team. Still smiling she turned towards Vala.

"So…. Tell me, slave. Is that different from your past?"

Vala just shook her head unable to speak.

Qetesh smiled with satisfaction. "Let me go or they will all see what happened next. All the things you have done, all the things you have learned, everything that I made you do…"

"Look, lady. You will do no such thing. I suggest you sit tight and try not to draw attention to yourself for a few minutes. Understood?"

Qetesh just smiled.

SG-1 left the room leaving a couple of airman as a guard in the room as well as in front of the closed doors.

* * *

SG-1 was sitting in the briefing room waiting for General Landry to arrive.

An uncomfortable silence had settled around them. Finally Sam cleared her throat and started the conversation.  
"So, Vala, you were a teacher."

Sam's voice startled her slightly and it took her a moment to decipher the meaning of the sentence.

"Yes. I was responsible for teaching the children under twelve. The boy you saw, Justin, he was one of my favorites. He was such a bright boy. His parents had died in a flood and he was living with his grandmother…" She stopped suddenly, losing herself in the memory.

"So you two were close?" Daniel asked. He hated to see her like this and to be honest, he hadn't made up his mind yet whether or not it was a good idea that they talked about her private memories.

"Yes. Dorian and I we had planned to adopt Justin. His grandmother was getting to old to take care of him and he was such a sweet boy. He… he didn't know. It was supposed to be a surprise."

Sam reached for her friend's hand and squeezed it tightly. Although Vala took strength from her friend's gesture, she withdrew her hand with a small smile. She knew that these gestures of affection would cease once Qetesh revealed more of their past. The trainings, the deaths, the people she had left behind.

"What are we going to do with her?"

"I think it would be a good idea to get in touch with the Tok'ra, maybe they can extract the Goa'uld."

"Indeed, Colonel Mitchell, this seems to be the best course of action," Teal'c replied.

Sam shook her head, "No, we cannot do that. I think the only reason why Qetesh has not suffered from entropic cascade failure is that the Goa'uld is still in possession of Vala's body. Otherwise she would have died already. I am sorry Vala, but if we extract Qetesh without a possibility to send the host back to her universe we condemn her to a painful death."

Her announcement stunned the rest of Sg-1 since none of them had thought about this complication. Vala closed her eyes for a second, losing all hope of rescuing her counterpart.

"Then what do we do?"

General Landry heard Vala's last sentence as he entered the briefing room.

"The IOA demands further interrogations. And I have to say that I agree with them."

"But Sir…" Daniel started to protest, but Sam interrupted him.

"Daniel, I hate to say it, but I think they are right. Have you seen the pleased look on her face when she realized that she was in an alternate reality? What if this was a successful experiment and not a fluke? We need to know more."

Vala just stared at the table in front of her.

"Did anyone consider that I might not want everyone to know what happened in my life?" Vala's voice drifted through the silence in the room.

General Landry observed the young woman with compassion.

"I am sorry, Vala, but in this case we cannot consider your personal opinion. This new development is too important to ignore."

Vala stood up, "Very well, but you should be aware that this will not end prettily. And after this is all done. I reserve the right to end Qetesh's life," She left the room without another word; leaving a distressed SG-1 behind.

* * *

The screen lit up again, showing a distraught Vala, still in her wedding dress, sitting in the corner of a room decorated in an Egyptian manner. The young woman raised her head as the door opened and the distressed expression in her face was lifted as she jumped up to run into Dorian's arms.

"Dorian. By the stars, I thought I would never see you again. What happened?"

Dorian embraced her even tighter before he kissed Vala's trembling lips. She returned his affections with equal desperation. Seconds later they separated and Vala thought he would answer her questions, but instead Dorian started to kiss her throat. Pushing him away Vala gave him an astonished look.  
"This is hardly the time. What are you doing?" Dorian ignored her and dragged her over to the bed, picking Vala up and tossing her on the silk covers. She tried to get up, but Dorian's body covered her before she could get up.

When she looked into his eyes she saw them gleaming with white light and she screamed.

"Noooooooooooo!" The cry carried the whole impact of her broken heart. The man she had loved, had just married, was dead. In his place was a monster; a monster with the face of her lost love.

To stop the scream Dorian slapped her hard in the face. Vala's head whipped around and blood started running from the fresh wound.

Ignoring all of her attempts to free herself Dorian ripped her dress apart, revealing nothing but creamy white skin. Pinning her hands above her head and securing them with one hand he started to lick and caress Vala's breasts while his other hand opened the buckle of his belt. Lifting his hips slightly he pulled his penis out of the confinement of the black trousers. Ignoring the struggling and buckling woman under him he spread her legs and buried his engorged member into her unprepared and unwilling core. Her rapist soon found a rhythm and a few minutes later the deed was done. He rolled down from his prey and Vala could do nothing but to continue stare at the ceiling.

"Not bad for the first time. But be advised that I will not tolerate the lack of response or even the fighting again!"

Dorian stood up and righted his clothes; looking up as the door opened he bowed down to Qetesh. Qetesh's host was a beautiful woman who appeared to be in her mid-thirties. Long dark locks framed a finely chiseled face with deep blue eyes.

At his goddess's nod Dorian rose again.

"Ah, I see you already started your training. Let me see what you have done so far." She walked over to the bed and looked Vala up and down. The blood smeared thighs, the bruises that were beginning to form on her alabaster skin, and the absent look in her eyes.  
"Slave! Slave!" Qetesh shook the defeated woman to get her attention, when that proofed fruitless she snapped her fingers and Dorian took Vala's arm to raise her up.

"Your goddess demands you attention, whore!"

Vala eyes slowly started to focus on the woman clad in gold.

"Better. As I can see you already had your fun with Eueucoyotl. He will be your trainer. You should be honored, not many beings can claim that they have been trained by the god of Sex. I even gave him a face you would enjoy. Your husband, right?" When Vala didn't answer Eueucoyotl slapped her again.

"Speak when spoken to, whore!"

"This monster is not my husband."

Qetesh smiled.

"Feisty, I like that. It makes it more fun to break you. Some Goa'uld prefer to break their hosts after the possession," she smiled cruelly and traced a finger along the contours of Vala's face, "I never enjoyed that. I prefer to break you before I take over you. By the time Eueucoyotl will be through with you, you will be as tame as a lamb. Versed in every aspect of the sexual arts, but moreover, you will be mine completely."

Seeing not only the resentment, but also the will to fight in Vala's eyes, Qetesh smirked.  
"Since this is your wedding day, I will allow for a period of adjustment. But if you are still fighting against Eueucoyotl two days from now there will be punishment. Understood?"

"What could you possibly do to me that you haven't already done?" Vala's voice was hollow.

Qetesh actually laughed out loud. "My dear, what gave you the impression that I would punish you? No, every time you resist Eueucoyotl's teachings I will torture one of them for you to see and hear." Qetesh made a small gesture and Eueucoyotl pressed a button. A screen appeared showing all of Vala's former schoolchildren. Twenty of them huddled together in the corner in a cell.  
"No…" The gasp that escaped Vala's throat was almost inaudible; Qetesh heard it nonetheless and her smirk widened.

"And after their long…long torture, after they have screamed and begged for death, I will slit their throats and bath you in their blood," Grasping Vala's chin she forced her to look into her blue eyes.

"Do we understand each other, slave?" Vala nodded, she didn't trust her voice to speak.

* * *

Qetesh looked up as the memory ended and smirked, "And what a docile student you were, slave!"

Although the other members of SG-1 were shocked by Vala's past, they couldn't tear themselves away from the horrible images on the screen. Therefore, none of them realized that Vala had had enough. During the screening her fingers had curled into a tight fist which she now released in Qetesh's face without mercy. Blood splattered as she broke her tormentor's nose. She managed to land three more punches before Mitchell grasped her around her waist drawing her away from Qetesh. Miscalculating her anger he was caught off-guard as Vala turned the tables on him and freed herself before she gave him a few serious blows. Without another look Vala left the room, followed by Qetesh's laughter.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for all the nice comments.

* * *

"Okay, obviously this is not working like it should. Sam is there anything you can do to direct the flow of Qetesh's memories more efficiently?" After Vala had left they had tried again, adjusting the device's energy input. They had been rewarded with a few images of Qetesh in a lab together with Ba'al. They were obviously working on some kind of reality switching device they had developed out of Ni'irti's phase-shifting mechanism. Over the next few hours they witnessed a couple of more glimpses into Qetesh's work as well as some very unpleasant scenes out of Vala's training. Towards the end the even glimpsed at an image that displayed an obviously pregnant Vala.

Sam shook her head. "I don't know. I could try to write another program... see if the stream of consciousness can be directed more efficiently, but honestly, I have no idea how successful this would be."

She pointedly looked at Mitchell, "Also, I am not sure how much of Vala's past I can handle," She knew how cowardly she sounded considering that Vala had actually lived through all of these atrocities.

Mitchell studied the table in front of him. His stomach was still queasy after witnessing Vala's last training session. Teal'c just raised a brow, he had left the interrogation room a few hours earlier trying to limit the number of people who had to witness Vala's past. Vala herself had been in her quarters since she broke Qetesh's nose. She had refused to talk to any of them and Daniel was taking it especially hard.

"How did she do it? How did she manage to retain her sanity?" Sam asked.

"She is a very strong woman. I just never realized before how strong. My God just imagine what it must have taken her to survive this hell? It is a miracle that she is able to trust anyone," Daniel closed his eyes.

There was nothing he would enjoy more than killing Qetesh. He had no idea how to help Vala, which made him even angrier. She was obviously hurting and alone. She needed them now, but her damn self-preservation mechanisms didn't allow her to accept help.

He thought about all the times she had come on to him. All the times she had prepositioned him and had tried to seduce him; after what he had witnessed during the last few hours he couldn't imagine what it might have cost her to actually _want_ sex with someone.

Every member of Sg-1 was deeply focused on their own inner dialogues. It took them awhile to realize that Vala stood in the door. Looking calm and prepared. She cleared her throat to get her team members attention.

"She told the airman that she is ready for another session. Are you ready for round three?" Her voice didn't betray any motion and she even attempted a smile. Getting no response besides the pity and helplessness in their eyes she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh no you won't! You have no right to look at my with those pitying glances. I told you from the beginning that this would not be pretty. You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. This doesn't change anything. I am sorry that this is becoming very hard for you, but I do not care. I refuse to have her here any longer than necessary. So you will finish this soon. Do I make myself clear?" Without a word she turned around and left a slightly gaping SG-1 behind. Daniel was he first to regain his composure. Hurrying after her he nearly tripped over his own feet and when he finally caught her arm he spun her around.

"Vala, please there is no need to put on this hard warrior façade of yours. You can trust us we will not leave you alone," She gently freed her arm from his grip. Seeing her retreat once more Daniel did the only thing that he could think of that might have stopped her. He reached up to cradle her face between his hands and pressed his lips to hers. In the beginning Vala's was too confounded to react, then she enjoyed Daniel's affection, having had to live without them for too long. But it took just a few seconds before she remembered that this display of caring wasn't born out of love, but out of pity. She freed herself and slapped his face.

"I don't want your pity Daniel. There is no need for you to pretend that you feel anything for me besides a friendship born out of necessity."

Stunned Daniel just gaped at her for a few moments.

"What? No! Vala, I would never…. I mean…. I really care for you. I lov…"  
"Don't you dare! How long have I fought for a chance just to be close to you? And how long have you dismissed me because of my past? And now, after you have witnessed a fraction of what I had to endure during my time as a host you open up and realize that you love me? Give me a break! This is just you trying to cope with the situation. Trying to fix it. But guess what, Dr. Jackson, this is nothing you can fix. Do us both a favor and don't pretend that this is anything besides your misguided sense of righteousness!" Turning on her heels she stormed down the hall.

Still too dumbstruck to say anything Daniel just stared after her.

* * *

Didn't see that one coming did ya?


	4. Chapter 4

I enjoyed all my new reviews and also all the story alert messages. Thank you.

* * *

Half an hour later, Vala, Daniel and Mitchell had resumed the interrogation. Sam and Teal'c had finally left with SG-8 to see if they could find anything on PX3-561.

"Oh, you are back. I must say this little interrogation of yours is so much more fun when you are here slave. I have already chosen the perfect memory. Let me know if you remember this."

The screen behind her lit up revealing a four or five month pregnant Vala sitting on something like a couch reading a book. She barely looked up when the door opened. It wasn't until a cloaked figure was pushed into the room and fell down.

"Qetesh wants you to keep this one company."

"Tell Qetesh that I am no babysitter."  
The guard came closer and slapped Vala hard in the face. She shoot him a glowing look, but remained silent.

After he had left she barely glanced at the figure still lying on the floor. After a few minutes of nothingness Vala stood up and approached the figure on the floor.  
"Please, please do not hurt me," The voice was barely audible.

"Speak up and get up from the floor, you are not a dog are you?" Over the months Vala's voice had lost all her passion and gentleness, nowadays it just mirrored the cold lifeless hull she had become. The figure raised herself up and stood on shaky legs in front of Vala who had also risen.

She opened her cloak and pulled the hood from her face. Masses of dark hair fell over the females shoulders and when she turned around to face Vala and her face appeared on screen, clear for all to see one could have heard a needle drop.

It was Sha're. Daniel uttered a sound that sounded like that of a hurt animal and Vala couldn't look at him.

The image was disconnected and Qetesh smirked at her.

"This seems to be personal. I wonder if you friends know this one. Amunet, Aphophis's queen…well right now it is just the host since it was pregnant. I must say Dr. Jackson's reaction is most fascinating. I think we will show him more of your interactions with… what did you call her? 'The scrawny little Abydoninan who was always whining after her husband?'"

Vala met Qetesh's gaze without blinking.  
"Yes, that is exactly what I called her. But this isn't relevant."

Qetesh narrowed her eyes, "Are you sure, slave? What if I showed them the moment when you tried to kill Amunet's host. Or the time when your training came in handy." At that, both men's gaze whipped to her.

"No one will show anyone anything before this cleared up. Jackson, Vala, my office now!"

* * *

"Okay. Spill!" Daniel, Vala and Mitchell were sitting in Mitchell's office. Vala was looking at the floor Mitchel could see that the last few days were taking their toll on her. Daniel, however, just stared at her. His expression was dark and brooding. He couldn't get Sha're's fearful face out of his head and neither that Vala had tried to kill his wife. Choosing to ignore Qetesh's other comment he focused all his anger on Vala. How could she have been so cold and mean to someone who was in the same position as her?

"Did you know who I was before you came here?" His cold voice made Vala shiver and her gaze swayed to Daniel. Seeing the hostility in his eyes she quickly refocused on Mitchell who smiled kindle at her.

"No. It wasn't before I saw her picture in your office a few days later."

"Why didn't you tell me then?" His voice rose slightly.

"It was none of your business."

"None of my business? That is my wife you are talking about. I had a right to know anything you knew about her."  
His wife. Present tense. Although Vala had known that Daniel's attempt on a declaration of love earlier had been born out of pity, hearing him refer to Sha're as if he was still married to her still hurt.

"You know almost nothing about me, Daniel. There are things in my past that I don't want anyone to know."

"Like when you tried to kill my wife. Tell me when Qetesh referred to your training in connection to Sha're… what did she mean? I swear if you did anything to hurt her I will..."

Vala sprang up crossing her trembling arms over her chest.

"You will what Daniel? Kill me? Hurt me? Go ahead! You wouldn't be the first one!"

"That's enough! Vala sit back down. Jackson get a hold on your temper!" He continued in a gentler tone, "Vala. Everything we have seen so far…everything Qetesh has shown us… did that happen to you?"  
Closing her eyes for a second Vala nodded, "Yes. I wonder though where the similarities end. I am here and my counterpart is still a host. Our histories could deviate at any point now."

Mitchell nodded hating that he had to ask the next question.

"Did you try to kill Sha're?"

Wetting her lips Vala stood up and walked slowly to the opposite side of the room to lean against the wall.

"That is a complicated question."  
"Actually, Vala, it is a very easy question. Did you hurt my wife?" The coldness and rage in his words made Vala shiver.

"Yes. I hurt her. But…" Daniel has sprung up and was now dangerously close to her. She had never seen him this angry….this out of control before. Mitchell interfered before Daniel could do anything he might regret later.

"That's enough Jackson! I think it is better when you leave now!"

Flexing his jaw muscles Daniel's heated gaze focused on Vala once more before he turned around and left. The second he had left the room Vala slid down the floor; Mitchell expected he to cry or sob, rant...anything really, but she just stared ahead.

Mitchell kneeled down in front of her. "Vala? You okay?"

It took a while before she answered. "He will never forgive me for this. After this is done I will leave. I am going to help you find out what has happened and after that I will pack my things and leave," the emptyness of her voice shocked Mitchell more than anything else.

"Now, Vala… there is no need to…"

"Yes, there is," Looking up at him for the first time he noticed the blank stare in her eyes. This was it, Daniel had finally broken her.

"Damnit Vala! Jackson didn't mean it."

"He does and he still will after he has seen the rest," She slowly stood up, "We should get back to her, I want this over."

"Don't you think you should rest first?"

Her stare shut him up and he quietly followed her out of the room.

* * *

"I want to know everything!" Daniel had gone straight to Qetesh. He needed to see what Vala had done with his wife.

"Ahhhh Dr. Jackson. I knew you would be back. What can you give me in return for my information?" She smirked at him.

"You will live," Slowly Qetesh's smile vanished; she knew that tone of voice. It was the voice of someone who had nothing much to lose. There was no one more dangerous as someone like him.

"Very well," The screen behind her flared to life and picked up right where she had ended the memory earlier.

* * *

Daniel's behavior isn't really good. Nonetheless, I do not think that it is OOC right now. I think that this is exactly the way he would behave if something like this would come up. What do you think?


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, you guys really thought about this story. I am flattered. We are halfway through now…..

* * *

"Please, I beg of you."

"Be quiet," Vala moved back to her couch and picked up her book.

"If I were you I would be trying not to draw attention to myself."  
Sha're looked around with fear in her eyes.

"Where am I?"

"You are on Parteen, Qetesh's favorite planet. Warm in summer and winter, lots of slaves and naquadah."  
"Who is this Qetesh?" Now Vala looked up and sighed.

"She is the ruling Goa'uld here. Who are you?"

"I am … Sha're. I am host to Amunet, but she lays dormant since I am pregnant with Aphophis' child."  
"Ah, that explains it. Ba'al has been here for a while and he was in an unusually good mood. Chances are he kidnapped you to get back to your husband."

"That monster is not my husband! I was on my way home, to Abydos and then these Jaffa brought me here."

Frowning Vala put her book down. "Look, I don't care who you are married to. Nor do I want to sit down tell you my life's story and braid your hair. I am not your friend! I will never be your friend! If it would come down to you or me I would throw you to the wolves. So whatever you are trying here it will not work. I don't have time for a scrawny little Abydoninan like you. I have my own set of problems. So sit down and leave me alone."

The scene changed and the next thing Daniel saw was Sha're on her knees while Vala held a knife to her throat. "Is this what you want? Do you want me to spill your blood on this floor?" Sha're's eyes were wide with fear. She was shivering all over.

That was the image Mitchell and Vala saw once they entered the interrogation room.

Their presence interrupted Qetesh's session and the screen vanished.

"Jackson! What the hell are you doing here?" Mitchell was outraged. How dare he come in here without any of them?

"Save it Mitchell. He is not listening to you," Vala said before she moved further into the room.

"Daniel?" She carefully went closer it looked a lot like someone approaching a wild animal. Cautiously she touched his shoulder and he jerked under her hand. Raising his head to meet her gaze Vala was taken aback by the hate she saw in the blue depths she loved so much.

Shaking her hand off he turned around to leave the room: stopping by Mitchell.

"If you know what's good for her you won't let her follow me!" Mitchell just nodded.

Vala meet Qetesh's amused gaze.

"That was fun. We should do it more often."

Ignoring Qetesh's words Vala bend down to get the knife from her left boot and started playing with it. She needed to focus in Qetesh right now. Talking to Daniel would have to wait until he had calmed down. If he ever calmed down.

"Whoa… princess what are you doing?"

Vala didn't look back at Mitchell.  
"Getting your answers," Smiling at Qetesh she walked closer to the Goa'uld.

"We both know how vain you are, don't we?" Trailing the knife softly along Qetesh's face Vala smirked at her.

"Don't worry Mitchell. I will not kill her. I am just going to make her more cooperative."

Before he had time to say anything Vala applied more pressure to the knife. Creating a couple of zig-zag patterns on the now stoic looking face. Blood started to dribble down and dropped on the floor. Vala used her other hand to fish a small mirror out of her pocket and held it up to Qetesh. The Goa'uld's eyes widened as she saw the damage Vala had created.

"We will repeat this on every part of your body until you tell me exactly what I want to know. We do not have a sarcophagus here, nor a hand device," a lie, "you will look like this and worse for the rest of your despicable life. Think about it. I will be back in a couple of hours."

Vala turned and left dragging Mitchell behind her.

* * *

Vala stopped once they had covered a couple of meters; she turned to Mitchell.

"I need your help. I want to record some memories for you."

Mitchell looked confused. "For me?"

Rolling her eyes she gently hit his shoulder. "Not you alone, silly. All of SG-1. Now that Qetesh knows how she can hurt me and make you angry, possible even turn you against me," she paused at that not wanting to admit to herself and to him that this was one of her deepest fears, "I want you to know the whole truth. Qetesh will not show it to you and I would prefer not to, but I won't have her destroy your trust in me. Even… even when I leave soon... I wouldn't want you to live with her lies."

Mitchell's expression softened, "Vala, no one will turn against you. Only an idiot would value Qetesh's half-truths. Your past belongs to you and you alone. Hell, I have done things that I would rather forget and I did them all by myself. You were not responsible for your action, Vala. We know that and so should you! We trust you. There is no need to show us your memories."

Looking into his eyes she attempted to smile. "Yes, there is. Daniel already hates me…I do not want the same happening to you. Please, just… just record my memories."

Knowing that there was nothing he could do to change her mind he nodded.

Three hours later Vala and Mitchell had recorded her memories; he also helped her to cut the scenes that no one needed to see. She knew how hard it must have been for him to witness what she had done and what had been done to her, and she was very grateful that he had not abandoned her. Raising on her toes she softly kissed his cheek once they had left his office.

"Thank you."

"Any time princess."

* * *

While they had been recording her memories Sam had returned from her field trip. She was waiting in the briefing room together with General Landry and Daniel.

Mitchell and Vala joined them after they had been called over the intercom.

As Vala sat down next to Sam, the blonde Colonel noticed that neither Vala nor Daniel were looking at each other. Ignoring that fact for the moment, she launched into her report which lasted about 20 minutes and ended rather disappointingly.

"There was no evidence at all of any device or machinery. There was however a small area that appeared to be completely incinerated. Sorry Sir, there is nothing more I can tell you. I doubt that she will be able to return to her dimension which will be good for us because the others might think she died and will not attempt to cross over again."

General Landry nodded.  
"I hope you are right, Colonel. Mitchell any new information about Qetesh?"

"Ähh… Yes, Sir. I think she will be more cooperative from now on."

"Why?"

Mitchell briefly looked at Vala.

"Because I persuaded her to be more open to our needs, Qetesh is very vain General, practically obsessed with her beauty. All I needed to do was show her how fleeting beauty can be."

"I see," Landry's brow furrowed.  
"Don't worry General, I will not kill her. In fact I decided that you can have her after we are done with her," Landry raised his eyebrows. He had not expected that. Trying not to show his relief at her decision he smiled kindly at her.

"I think this is for the best Vala. Well, I suggest you try to talk to her again and then we will recommence here at 1800. Dismissed."

Landry left the room followed by Vala who knocked on his door.

"Vala, please come in."

"Thank you, General. I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate the chance you gave me. It had been a while since I was able to call a place my own and I am grateful for everything you did for me…." Trailing off she didn't realize that General Landry had left his seat to stop right next to her. His hand on her shoulder took her out of her stupor.

"Vala. You proved to be a great addition to the SGC. You have personally saved hundreds of our personnel at great personal risk. I am proud to call you a member of my team."

"Thank you. And I appreciate it… more than you will ever know, but… but I need to leave. After Qetesh is taken care of… I… I need to leave."

He nodded, honestly he had suspected as much after he had talked to Mitchell earlier.

"I am not letting you leave. You have worked too hard to just leave, Vala. But I will reassign you to the alpha site until you are ready to come back. Would that be alright with you?" Surprised she looked up Landry. That wasn't what she had expected. She wouldn't have to leave everything behind. She could still be part of something.

She stood up to face General Landry who was completely taken aback by the tight hug she gave him.

"Thank you."

Unable to do anything but nod the General carefully put his arms around her and hugged her back.

* * *

See things are getting better…. Kinda…..


	6. Chapter 6

I just learned that you are discussing my story and I am extremely flattered. I don't think that this has happened to me before. Ever! So thank you all for making my week. I am working on a couple of new stories, but it will take a while since I am going to some conferences in the next few months and I am still working on these papers. I will try, though….

* * *

Soon the members of Sg-1, sans Teal'c who was still with SG-8, regrouped in Qetesh's cell, Sam gasped slightly as she took the mess in that used to be Qetesh's beautiful face. The white skin was marred by cuts and dried blood.  
Choosing to ignore the stares the others were giving her Vala pulled her knife out, very satisfied when Qetesh moved slightly away from her.

"So… Have you changed your mind?"

Qetesh nervously liked her lips, "Yes, you always were resourceful, slave. I shouldn't have underestimated you."  
Vala smiled a hollow smile; how ironic that Qetesh was now faced with her own creation. If the situation wouldn't have been so serious, Vala might actually have enjoyed it.  
"No, you shouldn't have. So, tell us what you were trying to accomplish."

"Ba'al, you remember Ba'al don't you slave? He loves this body of yours. Always has really. But you know that, don't you? That was the reason after all that you chose to give yourself to him freely... long before you became my host. Tell me did you enjoy it when his hands caressed your skin? Did you think of your lovely fiancé while Ba'al pounded into your willing little body?"

Behind her the screen came to life. Showing Ba'al as well as Vala and Sha're in her room.

"You there, Amunet's host. How would you like to service your God tonight?" His eyes flashed as he witnessed the fear in her eyes. Backing away Sha're shook her head as a whimper escaped her trembling lips. Ba'al just smiled at her and moved towards her, but Vala stepped between them.

"What would you like with this scrawny little Abydoninan who is always whining after her husband when you can have me?"

Ba'al stopped to look at Vala; his eyes started a slow and journey up her body lingering on her breasts.

"You? You never wanted to grace my bed with your presence before. What changed our mind?"

Vala smiled seductively.

"I just realized that being in your favor might grand me an indulgence later on."  
She raised her hand and placed it lightly on Ba'al's skin, stroking the exposed areas of his chest.

"What kind of indulgence?" He cupped her head between his hands before he bend slightly to kiss her throat.

"Nothing much, glimpses of my child. I just want to see her once in a while; of course not personally, images are all I desire."

Ba'al stopped his advances on her skin and looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure you are not doing this out of pity for the Abydoninan?"  
Vala laughed, "Whatever gave you that idea? Take her if you want, it means nothing to me. I just thought you would prefer the service of one trained in the art of love to that of a little girl who just knows whatever her little bookworm of a husband taught her."

Ba'al considered her proposal for a while before he laughed out loud.

"You will be a worthy host for Qetesh. Devious aren't you? I like that. I await you in my quarters in half an hour."

Vala bowed deep to Ba'al and remained like that until he had left.

Qetesh's focus was broken as Vala cut of one of her fingers. Screaming the Goa'uld backed away, clutching her bleeding finger in her other hand.

"You bitch! I will have you flailed for this!" Qetesh's voice dripped with hatred.  
"No, you won't. And stop your little games. Show me what I want to know!" Vala raised the knife again, and Qetesh could see that the time for playing games were over. Vala would continue to torture her and there was nothing she could do.

"Very well," Qetesh looked at the other members of SG-1, "Ba'al and I have experimented with a way to open up doors between the universes. We soon discovered how fruitless this project was after we learned that two of us could not exist in one reality. We decided to destroy the compound, but something went wrong and I woke up on the planet you found me. I swear there is nothing else," While Qetesh had confessed the screen behind her had told the same story.

Vala nodded.

"Very good. What a docile student you are," Packing the knife away she turned around and left the room.

Qetesh watched her leave; loathing clearly written in her features. Turning around she refused to let Vala win completely.

"She was always a very stubborn host. And one day I will get my revenge, but before you leave… there is one more thing you should know about your little friend."

The image came alive again revealing Vala with a knife in her hand standing in front of Justin, the young boy she had wanted to adopt. Smiling she bend down to embrace him and he gladly fell into her arms sobbing. Hugging him for a few seconds Vala raised her knife and plunged it into his side. Never letting go of him she held the boy until his screams and shudders had stopped.

* * *

It had taken Sg-1, sans Vala who hadn't resurfaced after she had left the room earlier, a while to sort out what do to with Qetesh, after they had taken her to the infirmary to treat her wounds and to reattach her finger it had been decided to send the Goa'uld to Area 51 to be held in a containment cell until further notice. Watching the transport leave none of them said a word. Every single one of them was battling with their own thoughts.

Back in the briefing room they brought General Landry up to date with everything.

"Very well. We can decide what happens to her later. Anything else?"

"Sir…" Sam hesitated. "It might be good to get a counselor for Vala, the last few days must have been very hard on her. She will need some professional help."  
Landry nodded.

"I will relay your idea to General Watson, Colonel."  
Sam's brow furrowed.

"General Watson? What does the commander of the Alpha site have to do with this Sir?"

Landry regarded her carefully, "Vala Mal Doran left an hour ago, Colonel. She requested to leave the SGC completely, but I told her that I wouldn't allow it so we settled for the alpha site."

"She left already?" Mitchell exclaimed.  
"Have you been aware of her wish to leave, Colonel Mitchell?" Teal'c asked.

Sighing Mitchell nodded, "Yes, she said that she would go once we are done with Qetesh. She feared that we would distrust her and leave her alone anyway after what Qetesh has shown us. I told her that this would never happen. That we would stand by her, but I guess she didn't believe me. I just didn't realize that she would leave this soon. Without saying goodbye," His voice sounded defeated and also a bit angry. He knew exactly why Vala had left. This was all Jackson's fault. After she had tried to get close to him for years, Jackson had finally broken her spirit and the belief into her very own happy ending. He shot an accusing glance in Daniel's direction and the archeologist squirmed slightly in his seat as he noticed the angry stare. Refusing to acknowledge Mitchell's anger he focused on a spot behind Sam.

"Maybe it is better this way. I couldn't work with her after what we have seen," Daniel replied.

Sam was shocked; how could Daniel say something like that? A few days ago Vala had been one of his closest friends. They had worked together, laughed together and Sam knew that Daniel's feelings for Vala went deeper than just friendship.  
"Daniel! What do you mean? None of this was her fault. She was a slave, under Qetesh's command! A slave, Daniel!"

Daniel straitened and faced Sam completely.  
"Oh really? And when she was insulting and mistreating Sha're did that also happen under Qetesh's command? I could never work with her again Sam. Every time I saw her in the last few days all I wanted was to hurt her. This will be for the better, you will see."

Mitchell opened his mouth to give Daniel a piece of his mind, but Sam beat him to it. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. In a fluent motion she stood up and placed her hands on the table in front of her, facing Daniel.

"You listen to me, Daniel! That woman went through hell and came out, not only alive, but sane! How many long-term ex-hosts do you know who can say that? Do you have any idea how much effort and pain it took me to live with Jolinar's past and thoughts? What General O'Neill had to do after Kanan? You know what happened to Sara, she still hasn't recovered and she had just been a host for a few years. Have you actually paid attention to what happened to Vala? She was brutally raped, Daniel. Multiple times by the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with! Blackmailed into becoming a sex-slave! She had to commit unspeakable acts out of fear for those children. And you want to blame her because she didn't roll out the red carpet for Sha're? Are you insane? If you are really ready to judge her on the basis of some crazy, evil Goa'uld who didn't even show us complete events, but just fragments, then you are not the man I thought you were!"  
Everyone looked at her. Landry's mouth was slightly open and Teal'c had never raised his eyebrow that high.

Sitting back down she refused to look at Daniel again.

"It is unfortunate that we will never know what really occurred between Vala Mal Doran and Sha're, Daniel Jackson, however, I am inclined to concur with Colonel Carter. Vala Mal Doran has often demonstrated her loyalty and sense of duty to us. She has become a valued and complete member of this team."  
Waiting for Teal'c to finish, Mitchell raised his voice the moment the Jaffa had stopped making his stance.

"That is not completely true. This morning Vala and I recorded her memories of certain events of her life. She was guessing what Qetesh would show us and she wanted us to know the whole truth. I have the recording in my office. Shall I get it?"

Daniel hadn't responded to Sam so far. He never would have thought that his friends felt so strongly about Vala. He hadn't realized how important she had become to all of them. Sam was right; before this whole mess had started he would never have made her responsible for the actions she committed while under Qetesh's rule. As difficult as it was to admit to himself, if it weren't for the fact that Vala had known Sha're and didn't tell him about it, he would have stood by her completely. He would have been a friend to her, telling her that she could count on him. Hell, a few days ago he was ready to tell her about his true feelings. Daniel had realized months ago that his feelings for Vala had changed from simple friendship to something much more intense. He had learned to see beyond the brave façade she put up most of the time. He had come to admire her for her strength and for her ability to live life to the fullest. Despite everything she had been through, she had never lost her ability to enjoy life. Daniel was starting to feel ashamed of not only his actions, but also his thoughts.

"Yes, please. I want to see the whole story," No, he needed to see the whole story. He owed to Vala and to himself to know the truth.

Landry nodded and Mitchell left to get the recording. A few minutes later he returned with the disc. Adjusting the media equipment he waited for Landry to leave the room since they had decided earlier that not everyone needed to know Vala's most private memories.

"I have to warn you, this is not getting any better then what we have seen so far."

They all nodded eager to get this over with.

* * *

Okay, we are almost there. I think 2-3 chapters and then we can wrap this up.


	7. Chapter 7

It was interesting to see the different reactions to the last chapter. For those who thought that Vala was way out of line for cutting Qetesh's finger off, she is not military and I highly doubt that this is the worst thing she has done to get information. For the rest of SG-1, I think they were to shocked by what had happened as well as they didn't fell the right to interfere after they had witnessed what Qetesh had done to Vala.

But now, on with the story….. Oh, btw, you will have read some of this before since I am showing Vala's memories.

* * *

The screen behind her lit up revealing a four or five month pregnant Vala sitting on something like a couch reading a book. She barely looked up when the door opened. It wasn't until a cloaked figure was pushed into the room and fell down.

"Qetesh wants you to keep this one company."

"Tell Qetesh that I am no babysitter."

The guard came closer and slapped Vala hard in the face. She shot him a glowing look, but remained silent.

After he had left she barely glanced at the figure still lying on the floor. After a few minutes of nothingness Vala stood up and dowered herself near the figure on the floor.

"Please, please do not hurt me." The voice was barely audible.

"Speak up and get up from the floor, you are not a dog are you?" Over the months Vala's voice had lost all her passion and gentleness, nowadays it just mirrored the cold lifeless hull she had become. The figure raised herself up and stood on shaky legs in front of Vala who had also risen.

She opened her cloak and pulled the hood from her face. Masses of dark hair fell over the females shoulders and when she turned around to face Vala and her face appeared on screen, clear for all to see one could have heard a needle drop.

It was Sha're like the saw before. She raised her hands in a pleading gesture towards Vala.

"Please, I beg of you."

"Be quiet." Vala moved back to her couch and picked up her book.

"If I were you I would be trying not to draw attention to myself."

Sha're looked around with fear in her eyes.

"Where am I?"

"You are on Parteen, Qetesh's favorite planet. Warm during summer and winter, lots of slaves and naquadah."

"Who is this Qetesh?" Now Vala looked up and sighed.

"She is the ruling Goa'uld here. Who are you?"

"I am … Sha're. I am host to Amunet, but she lays dormant since I am pregnant with Aphophis' child."

"Ah, that explains it. Ba'al has been here for a while and he was in an unusually good mood. Chances are he kidnapped you to get back to your husband."

"That monster is not my husband! I was on my way home, to Abydos and then these Jaffa brought me here. My husband is …"

Frowning Vala put her book down. "Look, I don't care who you are married to. Nor do I want to sit down tell you my life's story and braid your hair. I am not your friend! I will never be your friend! If it would come down to you or me I would throw you to the wolves. So whatever you are trying here it will not work. I don't have time for a scrawny little Abydoninan like you. I have my own set of problems. So sit down and leave me alone."

Vala resumed her reading while Sha're stood unsure in the room. After a few minutes of very uncomfortable silence Vala gave up. The young woman was standing so pitifully in the middle of the room Vala had no choice but to soften up.

Putting the book away she stood up and casually strolled over to Sha're.  
"So, you are Amunet, hm? I have heard a lot about you. I thought you would be older. You are practically a teenager."

Sha're's head snapped up.  
"You are not that much older than I am."  
Vala laughed.  
"Do not fool yourself. I might as well be a thousand years older than you," Looking Sha're up and down she wrinkled her nose.

"You don't smell so good. The bath is over there, and I will put fresh cloth on the bed." At Sha're's hopeful gaze Vala quickly shook her head.

"Don't get your hopes up, Abydos, I am just thinking of myself. If we have to stay here together I might as well be comfortable."

Ignoring Sha're she took a few clothes from a drawer and put them on the bed before she went to stroll around the garden.

* * *

The scene changed and the next thing SG-1 realized was that a few weeks must have passed since both women appeared more pregnant. They were sitting on the floor playing a game of Senet. Vala was obviously winning.

"You are a lousy player, Abydos. I could beat you while I am asleep."  
Sha're just smiled, she had obviously grown accustomed to her roommate.

"Yes, but where would the fun in that be?"

They played in silence for a few minutes before Sha're initiated the conversation again.

"My Daniel taught me how to play this game. He would never have said it, but he always thought that I am a really bad player."

"That husband of yours seems to have a bit of sense after all."

"Oh, he is very intelligent. A scholar." Sha're's gaze got a little unfocused as she stared of.

Before she could answer a Jaffa entered the room. He was broad shouldered and tall. The silver emblem on his forehead gleamed in the candle light of the room.

"Vala, Ba'al is coming." The effect was immediate; Vala sprung up and put the game away.

"Get up and do something." She hissed at Sha're before Vala went to the opposite side of the room. Seconds later Ba'al entered the women's room.

Vala bowed down and Sha're followed her example.

"Ah… my precious Vala. How are you feeling my dear?" Both women had risen again and Vala nodded at Ba'al.

"Very well Milord."

"Good good," He walked past Vala and stopped right I front of Sha're, who was not looking at him. He raised her head up and stroked her hair. Flinching, Sha're tried to step away from him, but Ba'al was faster. He took hold of her arms.

"Feisty little thing, aren't you? I wonder how long it would take to make you purr like a kitten in my bed."

Fear crept into Sha're's eyes and she slowly shook her head. Ba'al let her go and she backed up further into the room.

"How would you like to service your God tonight?" His eyes flashed as he witnessed the fear in her eyes. Backing away Sha're shook her head a whimper escaped her trembling lips. Ba'al just smiled at her and made a move into her direction, but Vala stepped between them.

"What would you like with this scrawny little Abydoninan who is always whining after her husband when you can have me?"

Ba'al stopped to look at Vala.

"You? You never wanted to grace my bed with your presence before. What changed your mind?" Vala smiled seductively.

"I just realized that being in your favor might grand me an indulgence later on."

She raised her hand and placed it lightly on Ba'al's skin, stroking the exposed areas of his chest.

"What kind of indulgence?" He cupped her head between his hands before he bend slightly to kiss her throat.

"Nothing much, glimpses of my child. I just want to see her once in a while; of course not personally, images are all I desire."

Ba'al stopped his advances on her skin and looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure you are not doing this out of pity for the Abydoninan?"

Vala laughed, "Whatever gave you that idea? Take her if you want, it means nothing to me. I just thought you would prefer the service of one trained in the art of love to that of a little girl who just knows whatever her little bookworm of a husband taught her." Ba'al considered her proposal for a while before he laughed out loud.

"You will be a worthy host for Qetesh. Devious aren't you? I like that. I await you in my quarters in half an hour."

Vala bowed deep to Ba'al and remained like that until he had left.

After he was gone Sha're just stared at Vala.

"You are offering yourself to him? Voluntarily? Why would you do that? Can't you see that he is a monster? You are not brave at all. I would have fought with teeth and nails, but you just throw yourself at him? And for what? A favor he will never grant you?"

Vala ignored Sha're and went to her drawer instead. She took out a golden gown with red gems on it. After that she checked her appearance in the mirror and applied make up as well as perfume.

"Don't wait for me."

* * *

Vala left the room accompanied by the Jaffa who had warned her about Ba'al's arrival earlier. After they had walked for a few minutes she stopped to lean against the wall.

"Give me a minute, Jemal." The big Jaffa stood guard as Vala took a few steading breaths. Jemal looked at her quizzically.

"Why are you doing this? Offering yourself for that child? She certainly neither appreciates nor understands the sacrifice you are making for her. Vala, you know as well as I that Ba'al will not keep his word."  
Vala just smiled at him. It was an empty, hollow smile.

"You are right. He will not. After this child is born, Qetesh will take over and I will be his wife. What can one more rape do to me? Nothing. I have learned to accept that… but Sha're, she is so… innocent. She would not survive this. We both know it. She would crack under the idea that her precious husband wouldn't want her after this." Vala looked at Jemal raising her hand to gently stroke his cheek she sighed.

"I am doing this because she still may have someone to go back to. Besides," she joked, "Can you imagine that scrawny little body in Ba'al's bed? He would crush her."

Jemal didn't share her amusement.

"We need to go. Ba'al is waiting for you."

Vala nodded and pushed herself away from the wall. They walked side by side for a few minutes before they reached Ba'al's quarters. Taking one more deep breath she plastered a smile on her face and opened the door.

"I am at your service, Milord."

* * *

The scene changed after that, it depicted Vala as she came back from Ba'al. Her lips were slightly bleeding and her hair was in complete disarray, a few bruises were showing on her fair skin and she looked utterly exhausted. As she entered the room she looked around for Sha're but couldn't find her. Furrowing her brow she looked into the bathroom. When she still couldn't see her she went into the small garden adjunct to her rooms.

She found Sha're near the water fountain a knife in her hands obviously deep in thought.

"Abydos? What are you doing?"

"Don't come closer. I will kill myself. I swear!"  
"Qetesh does have a sarcophagus," The sarcasm in Vala's voice was unmistakable.  
Sha're shook her head.  
"It will be of no use once I have been dead for more than two hours."

"True. So you want to kill me too? Or do you expect me to ignore your bloody remains in my garden?"  
"Is this all you ever think about? You? Have you no shame? You just came out of Ba'al's bed. A bed I am so terrified to see that I want to end my life! Whoring around with him; how could you!"

Vala closed her eyes for a second. She was getting tired of Sha're's behavior. Sha're was still a little girl in all the things that mattered. She may look like a fully grown and mature woman, but she had no idea about how to deal with real life.

Moving faster than Sha're had anticipated Vala stole the knife from her. A short struggle ensued and suddenly Sha're found herself on her knees with Vala behind her pressing the knife against her throat.  
"Do you always have to take the easy way out? Killing not only yourself, but your child as well? Is this what you want? What would your Daniel say if he could see you right now?" Share started crying and Vala applied more pressure to draw a little blood.

"Are you ready to sacrifice your child? You chance of freedom? After you bored me for weeks with tales about that wonderful husband of yours and his determination to rescue you? Is this what you want? Do you want me to spill your blood on the grass?" Sha're's eyes were wide with fear. She was shivering all over and her silent crying had transformed into full blown sobbing.

"No," She breathed. Vala applied more pressure.

"I cannot hear you!"

"No, I do not want to die," Vala nodded satisfied as she let Sha're go.

"If I ever catch you again while you are trying to end your life, I will not stop you. Do you understand me?"

Sha're nodded, sobs still wrecked her body. Vala watched her for a few moments before she bend down and put her arms around Sha're, soothing her.

* * *

"All I want you to do is take your Jaffa for a training session. Please!" Vala looked at Jemal with a pleading expression. He was obviously unhappy with whatever they were discussing.

"Be ready in three hours. Not a second later." She quickly hugged him before she turned around to go back to her quarters.

Sha're was sitting on the couch focusing on a game of Senal. Vala rolled her eyes.

"You still haven't made your move? Abydos, you are hopeless."

Sha're barely looked up.

"I am getting better, aren't I?"

"Barely."

The next two and a half hours Vala and Sha're played their game. Sha're had no idea why Vala was so antsy, but her friend checked her chronometer every few minutes.

She was so absent minded that Sha're actually won a game.

"I won! I have never won before."

Vala barely registered Sha're's excitement. Instead she stood up and took on of her dark cloaks out of the drawer. Handing it to Sha're she told her to put it on and to hurry up.

"Vala, what is it?"

Vala made a shushing noise and urged her to follow her out of the room.

After walking along the long corridors for a few minutes they finally stopped in front of a big door. Vala opened it and she heard Sha're gasp as the door revealed a Stargate.

"I got Abydos address from Ba'al's database. We do not have much time."  
Still too stunned to say anything Sha're just followed her as Vala approached the DHD to initiate the dialing process.

Seconds later the wormhole established and Vala turned around to face Sha're.

"This is it. Go!"

"You are not coming with me?"

Vala shook her head.

"No. I can't. But you need to go now!" Both women looked at one another, knowing that they would never see each other again. Sha're reached out and pulled Vala in a tight hug.

"Thank you. Thank you so much my friend."

Vala just nodded.

"Go and find your Daniel."

Sha're nodded before she ran up to the vent horizon. Throwing a last glance at Vala she raised her hand before she stepped through.

The wormhole disengaged and Vala stared at it for a few seconds before she rushed back into her room.

* * *

So, one more chapter and we are done. You might see more Vala/Sha're interactions in the future though. And again, thank you for your very thoughtful and interesting reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

I know that is impossible to satisfy all of you … which is why I am not going to try. Some may think that the ending comes too soon, too easy, but I think it fits. Let me know what you think.

* * *

To say that SG-1 was stunned would be the underestimation of the century. After the screening had ended they all continued to stare.

It was Teal'c who regained his voice first.

"The more I know about her, the more I admire Vala Mal Doran."

"You are right Teal'c. I cannot imagine what kinds of punishment she must have had to endure for freeing Sha're," Sam added in a faint voice.

Mitchell agreed, "She saved Sha're's life," Thinking for a second he turned to Daniel,

"You screwed up royally Jackson."

Daniel couldn't react. He had been such a fool. Vala had saved Sha're from Ba'al and she had made sure that she arrived on Abydos; giving him the chance to say goodbye to his wife. Because of her he had been able to spend precious last moments with Sha're. He closed his eyes in agony as he remembered the way he had treated her. How ungrateful and cruel he had been. Mitchell was right. He had screwed up royally.  
"How can I ever face her again? After what I said, after what I nearly did to her?" Daniel whispered more to himself than to the others.

Sam reached out and touched Daniel's shoulder. Although she hated to see the pain in his eyes, a part of her couldn't help blaming him for Vala's flight. If he had shown more understanding, more compassion towards her this might not have happened. Swallowing her bitter feelings she tried to reassure Daniel.  
"We will get her back Daniel. She just needs some time; as do we."

Daniel nodded, not entirely convinced.

* * *

During the next few months Vala made a life for herself at the Alpha side. She quickly became friends with Colonel Mathews from Sg-12 who was also permanently stationed there. Colonel Mathews was responsible for the security at the Alpha side and she valued Vala's inside into all their blind spots.

She had not heard from her friends at the SGC during her first weeks, but after that Sam had contacted her and they had met for coffee and girl talk at the Alpha side. In the beginning the meetings had been very awkward, but neither Sam nor Vala wanted to sacrifice their friendship over the Vala's past, so he two women kept meeting at least once a week. Over time, Vala had opened up and disclosed more of her past; Sam had listened and even proposed that she would come to the therapist Vala had been seeing since she was stationed at the Alpha site. Crying Vala had fallen into Sam's embrace; their friendship had become indestructible ever since. Gradually Vala had told her about the more disturbing and painful events in her past. They had also talked about Justin's death and Vala had shared one of her most painful memories with her when she told Sam how Qetesh had given her the choice between killing Justin or to witness how he would be tortured, raped and killed before he would have been revived to start the ordeal anew. It had been Vala's final trial before she became Qetesh's new host. Justin's murder had been Vala's final breaking point. She hadn't cared what happened after that. A few weeks later Vala also told Sam about her daughter. Qetesh had wanted to groom the child as a potential new host once she would have tired of Vala's body; thankfully she had never gotten her chance; the torture Vala had had to endure from Ba'al had terminated her daughter's life. In retrospect Vala had been more than grateful for this small favor.

Although it was still hard for Vala to open up and to tell someone of her past, she felt better after she had shared her experiences with Sam. While she always expected that telling someone would make the happenings more real, she found out that it made them more bearable. The two women emerged from the whole affair stronger and more connected than ever before.

Mitchell and Teal'c had also contacted her, both had assured her of their unchanged affections and trust towards her, and although Vala was tempted to go back to rejoin her team she couldn't. Her relationship with the two men had gradually become better. She had not been able to look into their eyes for a long time after they had witnessed her memories. The first time she had actually seen Teal'c again, the huge warrior had gathered her into his arms; without saying a word he had let her rest in his embrace. Later he had bowed to her bringing tears into her eyes.

Mitchell had come bearing gifts. He had brought a couple of his mother's pies and although Vala loved them and him for trying to cheer her up, she didn't enjoy them as much as she should have. Without letting on that she didn't really enjoy food anymore she had thanked him immensely and had pretended to relish every single spoonful of the sweet and delicious sherry pie they had shared while they had talked about what had happened.

Mitchell had been the one who had suffered most. Since she hadn't been able to direct her flow of memories as efficient as Qetesh, he had born witness to more torture and rapes, as well as murders she had committed while under Qetesh's influence. The knowledge of Ba'al's torture and the price she had had to pay for Sha're's freedom had shocked him to the core; even more so than the sex scene between Vala and Sha're he had observed*. Together they had talked about it as well as they had visited some therapy sessions together. Vala was relieved when Mitchell told her that he was able to sleep through the night again.

Between her therapy sessions, her friends visits, updating the Alpha sites security, and her meditation and sparing sessions Vala was almost too busy to miss Daniel.

She had not heard from him and although Sam and the others tried to reassure her that he wasn't angry at her, Vala wasn't ready to face him yet.

The others had told her that Daniel, too, was seeing a therapist and that Daniel's office floor was overflowing with crumbled letters Daniel was writing to her. According to the rest of SG-1, Daniel was trying to figure out what to say to her. How to approach her. Apparently he felt more than guilty and ashamed of his actions, but wasn't ready to face her yet.

Vala understood how Daniel felt. She had tried to picture herself in his shoes and the picture hadn't been pretty. Vala couldn't imagine what it must have meant to him to see Sha're again. To gain glimpses of the life she had led while being under Goa'uld rule. Of course she had not shown them every single encounter between herself and Sha're. Vala had chosen the memories for very specific reasons. They were enough to show them that she had not tried to harm or kill Sha're without showing them the whole extend of their interactions.

At the moment Vala was sitting in the mess hall, she halfheartedly poked at her apple-pie. Although she loved the Tauri food, during the last few month, it had become nothing more than means to an end. Giving up she pushed the apple-pie away and left the mess hall. She signed out of the compound and walked the few miles to the lake that was near the compound. Sitting on the ground she crossed her legs under her and tried to meditate. After a few minutes she had to smile to herself; Teal'c would be proud of her. Since she had arrived here she meditated every day. Vala was proud to say that she also noted some progress, while it was impossible to ignore the memories that had resurfaced after Qetesh's visit; she was able to view them more objectively. It had taken her a while to realize that although she had not been possesses by Qetesh since the beginning, Qetesh was still responsible for everything that had happened to her. All the people who had died, all the trials she had had to endure Vala had to thank Qetesh for.

* * *

Focusing on the horizon again Vala tried to relax again. Her hair, which had grown to her waist in the last months, was loose and a few strands were gently moved across her face by the light breeze. Sighing she tucked the tickling streak behind her ear.

Regaining her focus again she meditated for a few minutes before her concentration broke again.

"Okay, well. Obviously today is not a good day," Talking to herself had become an irritating hobby since she had arrived here, "Vala, Vala you need to work on this. Talking to yourself of all people."

"Some people say that talking to oneself is the first sign of insanity," The soft voice drifted to her and made her shiver. She had not expected him to come here. Not so soon anyway; maybe never.

Without turning around she barely whispered a response.

"Since I am already crazy, I am out of danger, don't you think Daniel?"

Daniel had been watching her for a while now. He had known through Sam that Vala came here every day to meditate, a fact that amused Teal'c to no end. He had watched her as she tried to focus on the horizon, marveling at her beauty. Her long hair tumbled in waves around her bare shoulders. The black tank top hugged her curves and accentuated her femininity.  
He took it as a good sign that she had not tried to run away; she was also not screaming at him which was even better.

For the last few months he had been brooding in his office writing letter after letter just to crumble them to pieces again. Not a single one was able to convey his feelings for her. His desperation of having hurt her the way he did. After the letters he tried video messages; deleting one after the other. His therapist had told him repeatedly that he just needed to do it! But Daniel couldn't face Vala out of fear that she might not forgive him. It wasn't until Sam had threatened him with bodily harm that he had finally decided to take the direct approach. Now that he was standing beside her in this peaceful scenery he had no idea what to say. All his carefully planned words and oaths had left his brain.

Sighing, he sat down next to her staring at the horizon.

"This is a nice spot," Mentally banging his head against a tree, he couldn't believe that he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Unsure of his intentions Vala agreed.

"Yes, it is," Her voice was soft and careful. She had no idea what to expect from Daniel. Why was he here?

Without taking his eyes from the horizon Daniel reached out and touched Vala's hand, intertwining their fingers. He relaxed a bit after she locked her fingers with his. The breath he had been holding escaped almost as a sigh. She looked down at their intricate fingers and smiled. His thumb was stroking her hand and she closed her eyes at the sensation.

"To say that I am sorry will never be enough. During the last few months I tried to give us some time to process everything that had happened. I wrote you dozens of letters and I destroyed every single one of them. I recorded video messages and deleted them as well. Everything I came up with seemed inadequate. It still does. The way I behaved….it is inexcusable. I should have trusted you, Vala. You, the woman I came to love and who saved my life countless of times and not some crazy Goa'uld who showed me half-truths and fractions of a past that was never mine to witness."  
When she opened her eyes to say something Daniel shook his head.

"Please let me finish," Vala nodded. While Daniel was still focusing on the horizon her entire being was focused on Daniel. How she had missed his lovely face. How she had missed him. Until now she had tried to convince herself that she did not need him. Neither him nor his love, but seeing him now …she knew that she would not be able to find her peace without him.

"I cannot tell you how much what I have seen means to me. It was because of you that I was able to say goodbye to Sha're on Abydos. Without you I would never have seen her again. Thank you. I appreciate all you did for her; more than I could ever tell you. But more than that, I am amazed at you Vala. Your strength, your childlike curiosity about anything life has to offer, your enthusiasm, your whole nature. I have no idea how you managed to stay sane through all you had to endure," Taking a deep breath he plunged ahead.

"I never took your advances towards me seriously. I knew that they were just a defense mechanism and in a way I was right. But I never expected that you might actually love me. I cannot imagine what it might have cost you to open up to someone again. Not after everything Qetesh had done to you. And I want you to know how honored I am. I am honored that it was me you chose. You opened up to me, Vala, and this means more to me than you will ever now." Daniel finally turned towards her and cupped her face with his other hand, smiling as she leaned into his touch. He saw the vulnerability in her beautiful eyes and his heart ached.

"I wanted to tell you before this all started. I should have told you months ago. I love you, Vala. I have loved you for a long time now. You have fought your way through all my defenses. Since you came into my life, there has been laughter and joy. You drive me up the walls and you make me want to strangle you," At that Vala laughed through the tears that had started running down her face.

"You are the only one who manages to pry me away from work. You won't let me forget about life….and for that I will be eternally grateful!" Brushing her tears away with his thumb Daniel slowly leaned closer. His lips brushed hers softly. Slowly he applied more pressure and Vala responded to his sensual kiss. After a while his mouth moved over her face, collecting her tears.

"I know that this will not be easy. And that a simple apology is not enough, but I am willing to try and work for this relationship, Vala. I will work very hard so that I deserve you! Therapy sessions, more space, tell me what you need and it is done. I am not willing to lose you, Vala. I don't care how long it will take until you forgive me, I will be here waiting for you. Please come back to me."

Opening her eyes again Vala focused on the blue depths she had missed during the last few weeks.

"Daniel, I …" Vala stopped she had no idea what she wanted to tell him.

Despite the seriousness of the situation Daniel laughed.

"If I had known that all it would take to shut you up was a declaration of love, I would have done it years ago."

Smiling Vala closed the distance between them and kissed his lips again. The innocent touch soon grew more passionate as she leaned towards Daniel who lost his balance and landed on the grass with Vala on top of him.

"I love you," Vala's declaration stopped his laughter and he just stared at her for a few seconds. Grinning, he cupped her face between his hands and pulled her in for another kiss. One that Vala was glad to return. After a few minutes Daniel flipped them around so that he was on top. His grin was contagious and Vala couldn't help but return it. Gazing down into her lovely eyes Daniel felt his heart ache. He couldn't believe that she returned his love. After all he had done in the last few weeks he was sure that she would never trust him enough again.

Lost in his own thoughts for a while he didn't respond to the slight worry in her eyes and Vala grew anxious.

"Daniel?"

His eyes refocused on hers again and he kissed her gently on the lips.

"Marry me," Vala's eyes widened. Her Daniel wanted to marry her. Her, Vala, the ex-Goa'uld and sex slave; the woman who had stolen not only his ship, but also her way into his life. Gazing into his eyes she realized that he was serious. There was no more doubt or hostility in his eyes. The only thing she saw was love.

Daniel groaned inwardly. He hadn't wanted his proposal to sound so spontaneous, so born in the moment. He had thought about this for a while, he even had bought a ring; he had wanted to take her out to dinner, give her the date she deserved. He had wanted to worship and court her before he asked the question. But it wasn't supposed to happen like this; on the grass of a planet a million light years away from home. He had bought the ring a few weeks ago and he hadn't stopped caring it around since. It was a symbol not only for his love and commitment to Vala, but also of hope. Hope that she might forgive him and give him the thousands chance that he didn't deserve.

He retreated to give her more space and sat back up, lending her a hand. After that he took the black boy from his pocket and snapped it open. Part of him had hoped that the shiny white gold band with the three carat blue princess cut diamond might sway her in case his words would fall on deaf ears.

Without looking at the ring Vala reached out to press her lips against his.

"Oh Daniel. _**My**_ Daniel. Of course I will marry you."

Soon the ring lay forgotten in his black box as the young lovers lay in the grass, kissing each other and mumbling nonsense between them.

* * *

THE END

I hope you liked it… And THANK YOU for all the lovely and thought provoking reviews….

*This will be the focus of my new story….


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